Gotta Be Somebody
by BlindxMag
Summary: There's only so much a human being can take. Nathan has a change of heart, and is finally able to turn to someone who he's always trusted the most, and allows himself to actually grieve. Nathan/Mag hint/friendship Oneshot


Gotta Be Somebody

"Nathan, you can't keep her locked up forever—" Blind Mag protested, struggling against Nathan Wallace's grasp as he rather roughly tried to drive her out of the house. Immediate panic had filled him the second he'd seen her in the house… and to know Shilo now knew about her.

"She's my daughter, I'll do whatever the hell I see is right," Nathan snapped, trying to push the woman out the door. Shilo was directly behind him, flinging herself at the door, but stopping him didn't prevail.

"Dad, no! She's going to be killed!" Shilo protested furiously, frantically the second the door was closed.

"Nonsense. Shilo, upstairs. Now." Nathan said sternly, his green eyes directed on his daughter, reading a clear refusal to discuss the matter further.

"But Dad—"

"_Now._" Nathan responded coldly. Shilo glared at her father, but turned and stormed up the stairs. Gripping the railing, Shilo turned a ruthful look on her father before making her way to her bedroom.

"She's my God mother. How could you not tell me?" Shilo said softly, her voice wasn't angry, but hurt. Betrayed. It was like a knife turning in Nathan's chest.

"Shilo… " Nathan began, shaking her head, but Shilo had already disappeared upstairs. But Nathan was left with the almost crippling guilt as he began to realise what he had been keeping from Shilo all these years. What kind of adult figure he had kept her sequestered from. He knew he could have trusted Mag, but he didn't trust himself to be able to keep Shilo safe if he allowed her outside to see the public. Even if it meant estranging her from Marni's best friend.

Taking off his glasses while squeezing the bridge of his nose, Nathan let his hand drop to his side, turning his head toward the door. Maybe by chance she was still out there…

"Mag?" Nathan said as soon as he went to the front door and opened it, keeping his voice hushed to avoid disturbing Shilo. Or exciting her further. Sure enough, the coated female form turned, her iridescent eyes flashing in response, and out of obvious surprise.

"Nathan?" Mag remarked, tilting her head in curiosity, and bafflement. "What is… did—?"

"Come in?" Nathan offered, yet his eyes were almost pleading. "Please?"

Mag had been one person Nathan had always trusted. She'd wanted to be there for him, be the one he could turn to when he had no one else after Marni's death, but he hadn't allowed anyone near enough to. Mag's heart ached for him, yet she couldn't help but feel betrayed by what he had done. She accepted the invite in, but as soon as Nathan closed the door, she turned to look at Nathan, searching his face as they moved to the living room.

"Nathan," Mag said sadly, her tone almost a question, hurt, confused, shaking her head. Nathan couldn't bear to look at her.

"I know," He said softly, shaking his head as he sat down on the couch, his head in his hands, exhaling deeply. He could feel Mag's presence drawing near to him as she sat down beside him.

"Why did you tell me she was dead, Nathan?" Mag said softly. "She was the only thing left of Marni—"

"I couldn't put her at risk, Mag." Nathan said, lifting his head to look her way, shoulders hunched. His hands dropped, elbows propped on his knees.

"So you think she would have been endangered by me, is that what you're saying?" Mag responded, eyes narrowing with indignant hurt.

"No, no, that's not it," Nathan responded quickly, shaking his head. "I know she'd be safe with you."

"Yet, you couldn't trust me with her." Mag said, eyes lowering. Nathan felt like a complete jerk. What he'd done to try to protect his daughter had merely backfired in a never ending web of lies, and now Mag was suffering the blunt of it.

"No—no. Mag, damnit, I never wanted it to be like this." Nathan responded, pained. His head lowered. He was exhausted, both physically and emotionally. He felt at his breaking point. At one point he'd loved Mag more than anything, and he wasn't so sure that those feelings were completely diminished. He never meant to hurt her. "I couldn't. Rotti held too much at stake, I couldn't risk putting you or Shilo at risk."

He paused, anticipating Mag to respond bitterly, but she only studied him, her ominous gaze somehow oddly comforting. Not a word came from Mag, but she merely listened. Nathan exhaled slowly, feeling his throat tighten, emotion threatening him. He swallowed, pushing it back.

"I couldn't save her, Mag." Nathan murmured, shaking his head. "I tried… God, I tried. Rotti knew. He held so much over my head, Mag… too much was at stake. I couldn't lose her—I _can't_ lose her."

He'd expected Mag to shoot him down, to be furious and leave, leaving him alone once more. But to his surprise, and absolute agony, she lay a gentle hand over his. Nathan felt tears sting the backs of his eyes.

"It wasn't your fault, Nate," Mag said softly. Nathan could have sworn he heard the emotion in Mag's own voice, a choked note that was almost never visible. Nathan couldn't remember the last time he'd heard her cry, or be even close to it, but it broke his heart. That and the comfort of her words. "Nobody's blamed you, ever. You did everything you could to save her. I know that, I've always known that, and I know Marni knows that, too."

Nathan had done everything in his power to avoid breaking down, but it was inevitable. Tears streamed down his face and he dropped his head. Mag wrapped her arm around his shaking shoulders, moving nearer to her still grieving friend.

"I'm so sorry, Mag… " Nathan stammered, his body wracked with sobs. Mag pulled him to her, her arms around him, holding him tightly, with her head against his. She could feel every sob pass through him, every desperate, grief-stricken murmur. Mag knew the feeling of losing everything, and to cling to the one person she had left.

"It's alright, Nathan… it's alright," She murmured to him, rocking him gently. She held him tightly, which was a huge comfort to him. It was human contact that he hadn't had in a long time, one which he had needed desperately, only realizing it now as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. She was something safe, something familiar. It was the one thing in his life that hadn't changed or disappeared. "I'm always going to be here, you won't lose me, ever. Just let me in, please. You can't deal with this on your own. I couldn't either."

FIN

_Author's note~ This was supposed to be a oneshot, just a brief blurb, let me know what you think._


End file.
